Friday, August 15, 2014

Big Tex, Fried Foods and ME!

We interrupt your irregularly unscheduled programming of Fitness Friday to bring you this important announcement...I am running for public office. Wait, no I'm not. But I AM in the running to be a judge for the Big Tex Choice Awards at the Great State Fair of Texas.

As you know, we have The Sparks Agency Fair Day at work every year. We take the day off work and head to the State Fair. We start the day with a Fletcher's Corny Dog, eaten at the feet of Big Tex, of course. Then, we make our way around the fairgrounds, seeking out the current year's fried food finalists, and judging for ourselves whether we agree with the Best Tasting and Most Creative selections. 

For the past five or six years, I've been trying to figure out how to become a judge for the Big Tex Choice Awards. I've been told that 'they' select judges who are local celebrities. Previous judges have been Mike Hashimoto & Jacquielynn Floyd, from the Dallas Morning News, Corby Davidson & Donovan Lewis, from The Ticket, and Representative Eric Johnson and Andrea Rega (I don't even know who she is!). Those people are celebrities?...pshh. I'll have you know, I've been on Animal Planet (with Speed Bump), on Texas Country Reporter (I met Muffin from Peppermint Place once) and in a car dealership commercial (Randall Noe Ford/Dodge). I'm about 3 1/2 minutes into my 15 minutes of fame. I'm not sure why I'm not "celebrity" enough. 

Not to worry, though. All that makes no difference now. For the 10-year anniversary of the Big Tex Choice Awards, the State Fair is opening the judging table for a citizen, for a fan of the fried food, for a friend of the fair, for --- ME! Well, almost me, anyway.

I need your help. To enter the contest, I submitted a 60 second video explaining why I will be the best judge for the Big Tex Choice Awards. I've been selected as a finalist, and now State Fair Fans (YOU!) have an opportunity to cast your vote for your favorite video (MINE!) and decide who will be representing fairgoers (ME!) on the judging panel. Voting is open between 9:00am on August 15 and 5:00pm on August 18. As they say, vote early and vote often (or at least as often as they'll let you). 

Click here for a link to watch the video and vote now!

It's a short video - they only gave me 60 seconds. I'll tell ya, a minute is a LONG time to do jump squats, but not nearly enough time to list all the reasons why I should be a judge. Here are some that fell on the cutting room floor...

  • Not only am I a Native Texan, I grew up in Oak Cliff (where fried food was the only kind of food there was.)
  • When the fried choices dwindled on the menu, my parents wisely moved us to East Texas, where fried will never die. 
  • Prior knowledge of the layout of Fair Park leads to a near-perfect route, culminating in a ride back on the Texas SkyWay.
  • The Butter Sculpture has included Armadillos.
  • I cried (real tears, even) when Big Tex caught on fire.
  • I fully support Go Texan (and have t-shirts to prove it).
  • The Sparks Agency Fair Day includes an open invitation to all our friends to meet us at Big Tex to get the day started.
  • I am awestruck by the Texas Star.
  • I've made a pilgrimage to Kerens, Texas, the birthplace of Big Tex.
  • I've met Miss Fernie, the brilliant mind that brought the Funnel Cake to the Great State Fair of Texas.
  • Celebrities are not the only people who know good food when they taste it.
  • I know where to buy Shiner Bock for the fewest number of coupons.
  • I make sure to ride the Dentzel Carousel every year. 
  • I know where the Dodge Mechanical Bull is located. 
  • I once rode the DART rail to The Sparks Agency Fair Day.
  • I am a TEXpert.
If you haven't already watched the video, go now. Hurry! And vote. 

Why I Should Be a Judge at the Big Tex Choice Awards Video

MaryEllen Miller - MaryEllenMiller
Fork Guy on Left - Glenn Hillin
Fork Guy on Right - Sparky Sparks
Big Tex Awards Finalists Tasters - Swift Sparks III
                                                                      Melody Tarno
                                                                     Robin "Skinny" Reynolds
                                                                          Matt Loving
                                                                          Dave McConnell
                                                                                                              Sparky Sparks                                    
                                                                           Glenn Hillin
Lead Racing Armadillo - Speed Bump
Mascot Armadillo Racer - Raider Red

Director - Sparky Sparks
Writer(s) - Glenn Hillin, Sparky Sparks, MaryEllen Miller
Executive Producer - The Sparks Agency
Director of Photography- Glenn Hillin
Production Designer - Sparky Sparks
Costumes - Jan Sparks
Craft Services - Becka Brown

This video was made on location at The Sparks Agency, entirely during business hours. 
No armadillos were harmed during the filming of this video.
Characters and incidents portrayed and the names herein are completely real, and any similarity to the name, character or history of any fictitious person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

Thank you for your votes. 

With warm, deep fried regards, 

Friday, August 1, 2014

Holiday List - August 2014

August 2014
2 - National Mustard Day
3 - Watermelon Day
4 - National Psychic Day
5 - National Underwear Day
7 - Sea Serpent Day
8 - Kool-Aid Day
9 - National Garage Sale Day
11 - Play in the Sand Day
12 - Sewing Machine Day
13 - International Left-Handers Day
14 - National Creamsicle Day
15 - National Relaxation Day
17 - National Thrift Shop Day
18 - Bad Poetry Day
19 - Potato Day
20 - Lemonade Day
21 - Poet's Day
22 - Hug Your Boss Day
23 - Valentino Day
24 - Go Topless Day / National Waffle Day
25 - National Whiskey Sour Day / National Banana Split Day
26 - National Dog Day
27 - Tug-of-War Day
28 - Radio Commercials Day
29 - More Herbs, Less Salt Day
30 - Bacon Day
31 - Pony Express Day

Aaaand, here is the disclaimer. As I've said before, I do not make up these holidays. These are all real holidays, celebrated somewhere in the world (mostly the US, and when at all possible, Texas - I like to keep it local). Some days have more than one holiday - I am aware of this, and I have chosen the one I like best. It was my idea to post the holidays for you, so I get to pick. Mainly though, because, which would you rather celebrate, World Choral Day or Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day (Dec 8)? Sure, about three of you said World Choral Day because you have really nice singing voices and like to sing in public (sorry). The rest of us will be acting like we just showed up from the future and are looking for a flux capacitor. What I mean to say is, if you don't like the holiday, just wait until the next day - I'm sure it will be better suited for you.