Big Tex, Fried Foods and ME!

<click here for video>

We interrupt your irregularly unscheduled programming of Fitness Friday to bring you this important announcement...I am running for public office. Wait, no I'm not. But I AM in the running to be a judge for the Big Tex Choice Awards at the Great State Fair of Texas.

As you know, we have The Sparks Agency Fair Day at work every year. We take the day off work and head to the State Fair. We start the day with a Fletcher's Corny Dog, eaten at the feet of Big Tex, of course. Then, we make our way around the fairgrounds, seeking out the current year's fried food finalists, and judging for ourselves whether we agree with the Best Tasting and Most Creative selections. 

For the past five or six years, I've been trying to figure out how to become a judge for the Big Tex Choice Awards. I've been told that 'they' select judges who are local celebrities. Previous judges have been Mike Hashimoto & Jacquielynn Floyd, from the Dallas Morning News, Corby Davidson & Donovan Lewis, from The Ticket, and Representative Eric Johnson and Andrea Rega (I don't even know who she is!). Those people are celebrities?...pshh. I'll have you know, I've been on Animal Planet (with Speed Bump), on Texas Country Reporter (I met Muffin from Peppermint Place once) and in a car dealership commercial (Randall Noe Ford/Dodge). I'm about 3 1/2 minutes into my 15 minutes of fame. I'm not sure why I'm not "celebrity" enough. 

Not to worry, though. All that makes no difference now. For the 10-year anniversary of the Big Tex Choice Awards, the State Fair is opening the judging table for a citizen, for a fan of the fried food, for a friend of the fair, for --- ME! Well, almost me, anyway.

I need your help. To enter the contest, I submitted a 60 second video explaining why I will be the best judge for the Big Tex Choice Awards. I've been selected as a finalist, and now State Fair Fans (YOU!) have an opportunity to cast your vote for your favorite video (MINE!) and decide who will be representing fairgoers (ME!) on the judging panel. Voting is open between 9:00am on August 15 and 5:00pm on August 18. As they say, vote early and vote often (or at least as often as they'll let you). 

Click here for a link to watch the video and vote now!

It's a short video - they only gave me 60 seconds. I'll tell ya, a minute is a LONG time to do jump squats, but not nearly enough time to list all the reasons why I should be a judge. Here are some that fell on the cutting room floor...

• Not only am I a Native Texan, I grew up in Oak Cliff (where fried food was the only kind of food there was.)
• When the fried choices dwindled on the menu, my parents wisely moved us to East Texas, where fried will never die. 
• Prior knowledge of the layout of Fair Park leads to a near-perfect route, culminating in a ride back on the Texas SkyWay.
• The Butter Sculpture has included Armadillos.
• I cried (real tears, even) when Big Tex caught on fire.
• I fully support Go Texan (and have t-shirts to prove it).
• The Sparks Agency Fair Day includes an open invitation to all our friends to meet us at Big Tex to get the day started.
• I am awestruck by the Texas Star.
• I've made a pilgrimage to Kerens, Texas, the birthplace of Big Tex.
• I've met Miss Fernie, the brilliant mind that brought the Funnel Cake to the Great State Fair of Texas.
• Celebrities are not the only people who know good food when they taste it.
• I know where to buy Shiner Bock for the fewest number of coupons.
• I make sure to ride the Dentzel Carousel every year. 
• I know where the Dodge Mechanical Bull is located. 
• I once rode the DART rail to The Sparks Agency Fair Day.
• I am a TEXpert.

If you haven't already watched the video, go now. Hurry! And vote. 

Why I Should Be a Judge at the Big Tex Choice Awards Video

Cast

MaryEllen Miller - MaryEllenMiller

Fork Guy on Left - Glenn Hillin

Fork Guy on Right - Sparky Sparks

Big Tex Awards Finalists Tasters - Swift Sparks III

                                                                      Melody Tarno

                                                                     Robin "Skinny" Reynolds

                                                                          Matt Loving

                                                                          Dave McConnell

                                                                                                              Sparky Sparks                                    

                                                                           Glenn Hillin

Lead Racing Armadillo - Speed Bump

Mascot Armadillo Racer - Raider Red

Director - Sparky Sparks

Writer(s) - Glenn Hillin, Sparky Sparks, MaryEllen Miller

Executive Producer - The Sparks Agency

Director of Photography- Glenn Hillin
Production Designer - Sparky Sparks
Costumes - Jan Sparks
Craft Services - Becka Brown
This video was made on location at The Sparks Agency, entirely during business hours. 
No armadillos were harmed during the filming of this video.
Characters and incidents portrayed and the names herein are completely real, and any similarity to the name, character or history of any fictitious person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

Thank you for your votes. 

With warm, deep fried regards, 

~ME:) 

Fitness Friday - Dear Bathroom Scale...

Dear Bathroom Scale, 

I'm sorry, but it's just not working out between us. We've been together for years, I know. But, it's time for me to move on. I feel like there's this incredible weight between us. I think you feel it, too. It's not you. It's me. 

Ok...I'll be honest. It IS you. I always feel like our conversations are so heavy. Really, you should lighten up a little. You probably don't even realize you're doing it, but lately every time we are together, you make me feel bad about myself. Well, not really bad, but certainly not good. I just get so frustrated, because I'm trying and trying to better our relationship, but you just don't seem to want to change. I guess it wasn't always that way. I do remember better times. Years ago. But that was then. 

I guess I started noticing something was wrong in our relationship about a year and a half ago, after I started going to the gym. Since then, you just really have nothing encouraging to say to me. I mean, I do cardio. I do calisthenics. I lift weights. I run, for goodness sakes. And still, you can't be even a little supportive? I'm not asking for something spectacular all at once. I know you. But a little something nice every week or so would be great. 

This is how it has to be. I'm moving on. I'm setting goals that have nothing to do with you. For instance, I plan on running (not run/walking) three miles by the end of July. I'm going to do pull-ups. I currently cannot do one pull-up, but I'm working on that every day, so I'll be doing five in a row soon. Yesterday, I did a wall sit for two minutes. I'm going for three minutes by the end of next week. As I reach each of these goals, I'll set another one in its place. In doing so, I'll increase muscle mass, and I'll tighten and tone all the jiggly parts. And, I'll feel great - physically and emotionally. I'll be better for it, and I won't have to listen to your negative vibes. 

Do I want to keep running back to you week after week? Yes, of course I do. But I realize it's not healthy for me. So, you can stay right there in the bathroom where you've been. That's fine. Just don't expect me to associate with you while I'm in there. No. We can't just be friends. 

Sincerely, 

~ME:) 

PS - stop harassing my friends, too!