Big Tex, Fried Foods and ME!

<click here for video>

We interrupt your irregularly unscheduled programming of Fitness Friday to bring you this important announcement...I am running for public office. Wait, no I'm not. But I AM in the running to be a judge for the Big Tex Choice Awards at the Great State Fair of Texas.

As you know, we have The Sparks Agency Fair Day at work every year. We take the day off work and head to the State Fair. We start the day with a Fletcher's Corny Dog, eaten at the feet of Big Tex, of course. Then, we make our way around the fairgrounds, seeking out the current year's fried food finalists, and judging for ourselves whether we agree with the Best Tasting and Most Creative selections. 

For the past five or six years, I've been trying to figure out how to become a judge for the Big Tex Choice Awards. I've been told that 'they' select judges who are local celebrities. Previous judges have been Mike Hashimoto & Jacquielynn Floyd, from the Dallas Morning News, Corby Davidson & Donovan Lewis, from The Ticket, and Representative Eric Johnson and Andrea Rega (I don't even know who she is!). Those people are celebrities?...pshh. I'll have you know, I've been on Animal Planet (with Speed Bump), on Texas Country Reporter (I met Muffin from Peppermint Place once) and in a car dealership commercial (Randall Noe Ford/Dodge). I'm about 3 1/2 minutes into my 15 minutes of fame. I'm not sure why I'm not "celebrity" enough. 

Not to worry, though. All that makes no difference now. For the 10-year anniversary of the Big Tex Choice Awards, the State Fair is opening the judging table for a citizen, for a fan of the fried food, for a friend of the fair, for --- ME! Well, almost me, anyway.

I need your help. To enter the contest, I submitted a 60 second video explaining why I will be the best judge for the Big Tex Choice Awards. I've been selected as a finalist, and now State Fair Fans (YOU!) have an opportunity to cast your vote for your favorite video (MINE!) and decide who will be representing fairgoers (ME!) on the judging panel. Voting is open between 9:00am on August 15 and 5:00pm on August 18. As they say, vote early and vote often (or at least as often as they'll let you). 

Click here for a link to watch the video and vote now!

It's a short video - they only gave me 60 seconds. I'll tell ya, a minute is a LONG time to do jump squats, but not nearly enough time to list all the reasons why I should be a judge. Here are some that fell on the cutting room floor...

• Not only am I a Native Texan, I grew up in Oak Cliff (where fried food was the only kind of food there was.)
• When the fried choices dwindled on the menu, my parents wisely moved us to East Texas, where fried will never die. 
• Prior knowledge of the layout of Fair Park leads to a near-perfect route, culminating in a ride back on the Texas SkyWay.
• The Butter Sculpture has included Armadillos.
• I cried (real tears, even) when Big Tex caught on fire.
• I fully support Go Texan (and have t-shirts to prove it).
• The Sparks Agency Fair Day includes an open invitation to all our friends to meet us at Big Tex to get the day started.
• I am awestruck by the Texas Star.
• I've made a pilgrimage to Kerens, Texas, the birthplace of Big Tex.
• I've met Miss Fernie, the brilliant mind that brought the Funnel Cake to the Great State Fair of Texas.
• Celebrities are not the only people who know good food when they taste it.
• I know where to buy Shiner Bock for the fewest number of coupons.
• I make sure to ride the Dentzel Carousel every year. 
• I know where the Dodge Mechanical Bull is located. 
• I once rode the DART rail to The Sparks Agency Fair Day.
• I am a TEXpert.

If you haven't already watched the video, go now. Hurry! And vote. 

Why I Should Be a Judge at the Big Tex Choice Awards Video

Cast

MaryEllen Miller - MaryEllenMiller

Fork Guy on Left - Glenn Hillin

Fork Guy on Right - Sparky Sparks

Big Tex Awards Finalists Tasters - Swift Sparks III

                                                                      Melody Tarno

                                                                     Robin "Skinny" Reynolds

                                                                          Matt Loving

                                                                          Dave McConnell

                                                                                                              Sparky Sparks                                    

                                                                           Glenn Hillin

Lead Racing Armadillo - Speed Bump

Mascot Armadillo Racer - Raider Red

Director - Sparky Sparks

Writer(s) - Glenn Hillin, Sparky Sparks, MaryEllen Miller

Executive Producer - The Sparks Agency

Director of Photography- Glenn Hillin
Production Designer - Sparky Sparks
Costumes - Jan Sparks
Craft Services - Becka Brown
This video was made on location at The Sparks Agency, entirely during business hours. 
No armadillos were harmed during the filming of this video.
Characters and incidents portrayed and the names herein are completely real, and any similarity to the name, character or history of any fictitious person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

Thank you for your votes. 

With warm, deep fried regards, 

~ME:) 

Holiday List - August 2014

August 2014

1 - International Beer Day

2 - National Mustard Day

3 - Watermelon Day

4 - National Psychic Day

5 - National Underwear Day

6 - National Root Beer Float Day

7 - Sea Serpent Day

8 - Kool-Aid Day

9 - National Garage Sale Day

10 - S'mores Day / National Duran Duran Appreciation Day

11 - Play in the Sand Day

12 - Sewing Machine Day

13 - International Left-Handers Day

14 - National Creamsicle Day

15 - National Relaxation Day

16 - National Honey Bee Day

17 - National Thrift Shop Day

18 - Bad Poetry Day

19 - Potato Day

20 - Lemonade Day

21 - Poet's Day

22 - Hug Your Boss Day

23 - Valentino Day

24 - Go Topless Day / National Waffle Day

25 - National Whiskey Sour Day / National Banana Split Day

26 - National Dog Day

27 - Tug-of-War Day

28 - Radio Commercials Day

29 - More Herbs, Less Salt Day

30 - Bacon Day

31 - Pony Express Day

Aaaand, here is the disclaimer. As I've said before, I do not make up these holidays. These are all real holidays, celebrated somewhere in the world (mostly the US, and when at all possible, Texas - I like to keep it local). Some days have more than one holiday - I am aware of this, and I have chosen the one I like best. It was my idea to post the holidays for you, so I get to pick. Mainly though, because, which would you rather celebrate, World Choral Day or Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day (Dec 8)? Sure, about three of you said World Choral Day because you have really nice singing voices and like to sing in public (sorry). The rest of us will be acting like we just showed up from the future and are looking for a flux capacitor. What I mean to say is, if you don't like the holiday, just wait until the next day - I'm sure it will be better suited for you.

Fitness Friday - Dear Bathroom Scale...

Dear Bathroom Scale, 

I'm sorry, but it's just not working out between us. We've been together for years, I know. But, it's time for me to move on. I feel like there's this incredible weight between us. I think you feel it, too. It's not you. It's me. 

Ok...I'll be honest. It IS you. I always feel like our conversations are so heavy. Really, you should lighten up a little. You probably don't even realize you're doing it, but lately every time we are together, you make me feel bad about myself. Well, not really bad, but certainly not good. I just get so frustrated, because I'm trying and trying to better our relationship, but you just don't seem to want to change. I guess it wasn't always that way. I do remember better times. Years ago. But that was then. 

I guess I started noticing something was wrong in our relationship about a year and a half ago, after I started going to the gym. Since then, you just really have nothing encouraging to say to me. I mean, I do cardio. I do calisthenics. I lift weights. I run, for goodness sakes. And still, you can't be even a little supportive? I'm not asking for something spectacular all at once. I know you. But a little something nice every week or so would be great. 

This is how it has to be. I'm moving on. I'm setting goals that have nothing to do with you. For instance, I plan on running (not run/walking) three miles by the end of July. I'm going to do pull-ups. I currently cannot do one pull-up, but I'm working on that every day, so I'll be doing five in a row soon. Yesterday, I did a wall sit for two minutes. I'm going for three minutes by the end of next week. As I reach each of these goals, I'll set another one in its place. In doing so, I'll increase muscle mass, and I'll tighten and tone all the jiggly parts. And, I'll feel great - physically and emotionally. I'll be better for it, and I won't have to listen to your negative vibes. 

Do I want to keep running back to you week after week? Yes, of course I do. But I realize it's not healthy for me. So, you can stay right there in the bathroom where you've been. That's fine. Just don't expect me to associate with you while I'm in there. No. We can't just be friends. 

Sincerely, 

~ME:) 

PS - stop harassing my friends, too! 

Holiday List - July 2014

July 2014

1 - US Postage Stamp Day

2 - I Forgot Day / Made in the USA Day

3 - Compliment Your Mirror Day

4 - Tom Sawyer Fence Painting Day

5 - International Cherry Pit Spitting Day

6 - International Kissing Day

7 - Tell the Truth Day 

8 - Video Games Day

9 - National Sugar Cookie Day

10 - Pina Colada Day

11 - Cheer Up the Lonely Day / Slurpee Day

12 - Paper Bag Day

13 - Gruntled Workers Day

14 - International Nude Day

15 - Cow Appreciation Day

16 - National Corn Fritters Day

17 - Yellow Pig Day

18 - National Caviar Day

19 - Stick Out Your Tongue Day

20 - National Lollipop Day

21 - National Junk Food Day

22 - Casual Pi Day (22/7)

23 - Hot Enough For Ya Day / Gorgeous Grandma Day

24 - Tell an Old Joke Day / National Tequila Day

25 - National Talk in an Elevator Day

26 - National Day of the Cowboy

27 - Take Your Houseplant for a Walk Day / Walk on Stilts Day

28 - National Milk Chocolate Day

29 - National Chicken Wing Day

30 - Paperback Book Day

31 - Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day

 Aaaand, here is the disclaimer. As I've said before, I do not make up these holidays. These are all real holidays, celebrated somewhere in the world (mostly the US, and when at all possible, Texas - I like to keep it local). Some days have more than one holiday - I am aware of this, and I have chosen the one I like best. It was my idea to post the holidays for you, so I get to pick. Mainly though, because, which would you rather celebrate, World Choral Day or Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day (Dec 8)? Sure, about three of you said World Choral Day because you have really nice singing voices and like to sing in public (sorry). The rest of us will be acting like we just showed up from the future and are looking for a flux capacitor. What I mean to say is, if you don't like the holiday, just wait until the next day - I'm sure it will be better suited for you.

Fitness Friday - Behind Door #3

I've mentioned before that the gym where Ryan and I work out, Anytime Fitness, is right next door to Chen's Buffet. Yep, right next door. To a Chinese buffet. Seems like cruel and unusual punishment to me. Well, it did, anyway, until I changed my way of thinking. 

You see, on the other side of Chen's is U.S. Renal Care, a dialysis clinic. Every time I go to the gym, I see the Chinese buffet and the dialysis clinic. Now, my workout happens before sun-up or it just might not happen, so I seldom see Chen's during their open hours. But that clinic is another story. It opens pretty early in the morning. 

I barely noticed U.S. Renal Care when I first started Boot Camp. Mainly because I'm barely awake when I get there. Over the past few months, however, I've noticed it more and more. There are people going into the dialysis clinic for treatments starting around 5:30am. Every day. To have their blood filtered by a machine, because their kidneys just won't do it anymore. Some have friends or relatives who drive them there. Others ride the Go Bus, a rural public transportation system. 

Now, I don't know the people I see going into there and I don't know their stories. But I know mine. And I know that I don't ever want any chapter or page or paragraph or sentence of my crazy life story to include "that time when I was hooked up to the kidney machine." From what I understand, that whole dialysis process is just no fun, and I'm just not down with that. 

There are many reasons why someone would have kidney failure. Just check Web MD - they have lists and lists of symptoms and causes. Some of those reasons are things that can't be prevented, simply because things just happen. Other reasons, heart problems, high blood pressure and obesity, among others, can be prevented just by paying attention to one's health. This is where my way of thinking has changed. I believe, with proper nutrition and adequate exercise, the kidney machine and I will not become acquaintances.  And I believe that I'm going to work really hard to stay out of that clinic. 

These days, I get plenty of exercise. I haven't smoked the cigarettes in eight years. I have reduced my Dr Pepper intake to about one per month. I drink beer, wine and spirits, but not too much. Although it is a constant battle, I'm trying improve my nutrition. I don't go to Chen's anymore. I keep my stress levels pretty low. These are lifestyle changes that I have decided to make to improve my quality of life for now and for my future. 

So, I'll keep what's behind Door Number Three. And I'll leave the buffet and the clinic for the next contestant. 

Fitness Friday - What I've learned about myself...

This week marks one year that I've been going to my Boot Camp class at the gym. My friend, Shelly, talked me into doing it. My friend, Tracy, teaches it. I'll be honest, I was reluctant to go to the class for a few reasons. 1. Because it starts at 5:30am. In the morning. Before sunrise. 2. Because I had no idea what to do at something called "Boot Camp." 3. I have no athletic ability whatsoever. But, I went, and I've been going to the gym an average of three days a week ever since. Yeah, so, there have been some weeks when I only went one day, but there have been plenty of weeks where I've been four or five. Anyway, here are some things I've learned about myself in the past year. Some of these things are very positive, some are not so much. I'm working on those. 

1. I CAN get out of bed in time to be at the gym at 5:30am.
2. It takes ten minutes to get from our house to the gym. 
3. I am fully aware of #2, so some days I can get completely dressed, brush my teeth, ponytail my hair and get some water in ten minutes. This gives me eighteen more minutes of sleep (nine minutes at a time, of course). 
4. When I started working out, I could do one plank-style push-up. I'm not kidding. I could do one. 
5. I can now do at least fifteen plank-style push-up in a row. If I drop to my knees, I can do a whole bunch more. 
6. I like working out with friends a LOT more than working out alone. 
7. I still haven't lost enough weight to even mention, but I look better in my clothes.
8. I can overhead press 15 pound dumbbells for ten reps, three times. (I started with 8 pound weights.)
9. I cannot lift a horse.
10. When I work out in the morning, I am less likely to eat unhealthy foods throughout the day. 
11. I am better at working out in the morning than after work.
12. I can run one mile without stopping.
13. I am very interested in eating less sugar and fewer processed foods.
14. But, I really love dipped ice cream cones from Dairy Queen.
15. I can hold a plank for 1 minute and 15 seconds.
16. I can make homemade ranch dressing that is unbelievably better than Hidden Valley.
17. I still get discouraged that I haven't lost weight.
18. Even so, I have a hard time staying motivated to eat fewer calories every day.
19. But, I keep trying.  
20. I love the blue of the sky when the sun is just rising.
21. I cannot be trusted with a restaurant menu. 
22. I am encouraged and inspired by the people in the photo on this page.
23. If I do not eat breakfast before I leave the house, I either skip breakfast altogether or eat something terribly unhealthy.
24. I can run and walk for 3.1 miles, but I really like to refer to it as 5 THOUSAND meters! 
25. I'm in better shape than I thought I was, because after three hours of horseback riding, I was not incredibly sore all over. 
26. Self-tanning lotion makes my feet darker way before it makes my legs darker.
27. I can do twenty situps in one minute. 
28. One year ago, I could not do one. 
29. I don't miss Dr Pepper as much as I thought I would. (I've only had ten in the past sixteen months.) 
30. I am really glad Shelly talked me into going to Boot Camp a year ago. 

Much love and many blessings to you!
~ME:)

What have you learned about yourself this year?

Holiday List - April 2014

April 2014

1 - National Fun at Work Day

2 - National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

3 - Don't Go to Work Unless it's Fun Day

4 - Vitamin C Day

5 - International Pillow Fight Day

6 - Hostess Twinkie Day

7 - International Beer Day

8 - National Empanada Day

9 - National Cherish an Antique Day

10 - National Sibling Day

11 - International "Louie Louie" Day

12 - Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day

13 - Scrabble Day

14 - Dictionary Day

15 - That Sucks Day

16 - National Bookmobile Day

17 - Ford Mustang Day / High Five Day / National Haiku Poetry Day

18 - National Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day

19 - National Hanging Out Day

20 - Easter

21 - National Chocolate Covered Cashews Day

22 - National Jelly Bean Day

23 - Movie Theater Day

24 - Pigs in a Blanket Day

25 - National Hairball Awareness Day

26 - Bob Wills Day / Hug a Friend Day

27- Morse Code Day

28 - National Blueberry Pie Day

29 - International Dance Day

30 - International Jazz Day